22 Apr 5 Tips to Conquer Any Fear
“Energy. It’s 75% of the job. If you haven’t got it, be nice.” Paul Arden
You are energy. Your thoughts, emotions, and physical body are all forms energy. Einstein figured that out a hundred years ago. And energy, by definition, needs to flow. It needs to move. In fact, that’s what energy is: a dynamic movement of life force.
From the micro to the macro; from atoms and cells to galaxies and stars, all matter moves in a state of dynamic flow. The universe is never static.The universe is never static. tweet this
Until something comes along like your crazy uncle and spoils the party… It’s called fear. And what does fear do? It freezes and constricts. It traps your energy and obstructs the flow. If energy is the movement of life force through your body and mind, then fear is the constriction and abatement of that life force. It blocks your power. Fear makes you contract rather than expand – shrivel up rather than sound the trumpet horns.
The Origins of Fear
All fears share a common mother. There is nothing unconventional about your fear, believe me. Not withstanding the fight-or-flight kind of fear of someone putting a gun to your head, all fears stem from one thing: The fear of rejection, ridicule, disapproval, failure, and humiliation. Simply put, we fear that someone will see our flaws, that we’ll be “exposed,” and that we’ll be deemed unworthy in the eyes of another – and ultimately, by our own selves.
The fear of public speaking, for example, (the #1 fear in the world) is really the fear of being heard and seen because deep down we feel unworthy and don’t want to make a fool out of ourselves.
The Fear of flying otherwise known as aviophobia is essentially the fear of crashing.
And the fear of death is nothing but the fear of not having lived. Arriving at your deathbed riddled with regret and misgivings. “Oh, I should have done this or I could have done that.” Fear is therefore not about the “thing” you fear itself, but always the negative aspect or outcome of what you believe will happen when you face it.
The fear of the unknown? Same story. How many times have you heard someone say: “I’m so scared of what will happen if I leave my job, or move to a new city, or dump my boyfriend who’s mistreating me …”
We fear the unknown. But that is a myth. We actually love the unknown. As babies, we revel in it. Everything we do is a step into uncharted territory. Trying a new food, petting an animal, taking our first steps, saying hello to strangers, all these things are steps into the unknown but as babies, we do it willingly.
As we grow older things change and the sense of mystery we had as children towards the unfamiliar mutates into fear…But wait, it’s not the “unknown” we fear! Rather, it’s the negative thing that might happen to us when we enter it…namely (and here we go again) rejection, failure, disapproval, ridicule, humiliation and the like.
So how can you conquer fear? There is one tried and tested way folks. You must accept it. Embrace it. Yes, you heard me! Even love it. Remember the adage, “the only way to change someone is to love them?” The same applies to ourselves!
We must accept our fears because it represents a rejected part of our psyche. Our fear is energy in our being we haven’t yet mastered. Hence it appears (often in dreams) as a monster; a wild and uncontrollable energy that we don’t know how to handle. But the monster is your mentor. It is here to teach you something about yourself and make you whole. Your fear is a part of YOU. Don’t reject it – befriend it. Get acquainted with it. Move towards it. That is the first step.
Have you ever had a recurring dream of a monster or wild animal chasing you? Well, the demon chasing you in the dream world is symbolic of a demon you have not mastered in the real world. And this monster, this wild energy, will keep attracting into your life obstacles, people, and situations that bring your fear to conscious awareness. As Carl Jung once said,
As Carl Jung once said, ‘the goal of life is to make the unconscious conscious by shining a light into the darkness of your being.’ Your fear represents that darkness, and you going forth to meet it, the light.
What you fear you must face until you can master and move beyond it.
Why do you keep attracting the same kinds of people and situations? Maybe it’s the same type of difficult partner. Or the same abusive boss, or people who take advantage of you and put you down? You move to another country, change jobs, get a makeover and buy a new suit but these people keep showing up. They stick to you like super glue.
Why? Because the problem lies not with them, but in you!